Chloe's newest dislike is getting dressed. I usually pick out two outfits and then let her choose which one she'd like to wear. Or I let her choose the pants and I scramble around to find a matching shirt. (That was tricky yesterday when she chose lime green pants . . . that's the disadvantage of buying things cheap here and there. Lots of mis-matchy things that don't go together.)Anyhow, even with some choice in the matter, Chloe has been seriously crying lately when I put the clothes on her. She'll even say stuff like, "I don't like that" or "I don't want to wear that jumper". And of course there's no reasoning with her. Even if she chose the jumper to wear, she gets upset when it's physically put over her head.
I just endure the crying after a few attempts to calm her down and try to make the dressing process go as quickly as possible. If I distract her by telling her what we're doing next that seems to help stop the sniffles.
Any ideas or suggestions?
10 comments:
I couldn't believe your post. Kayla just started the same thing in the last week. We've had three meltdowns over the matter, and they came when the clothing was going over her head. I say meltdowns, but she is seriously upset and crying and seemingly scared. None of the things we're putting on her are tight at all, but just like you said, there's no rationalizing with her about it. We've just had to force her shirts on as well and then move on to something else. I'll be looking back her for advice others have because I have none.
As harsh as this sounds--Don't give her options and don't let her choose. . .at this age, she is not ready to make choices-pick it out the night before if you have to.
I never really went through that with the boys as I recall. They usually get to pick out their shirt and I get the rest together. Sorry I don't have any suggestions! I'll be reading up on what others have to say - in case it's a "girl thing" and I might face it with Sydney! =)
My 4 year old niece has been opinionated about her clothing from a very early age. Madison will quite often change her clothes during the course of the day. It's not uncommon for her to wear 3 or 4 different outfits; it's an elaborate game of dress up for her. At least Chloe isn't doing that or streaking around naked :-)
Just this morning, Kayla flipped out when I had her step into her jumper. I thought her "dressing distress" was associated with things going over her head so instead of putting her jean jumper over her head, I let her step into it. She went crazy, and when she goes crazy, she is strong! I wonder if it's separate from the choosing and wanting to wear something different, but I'm just guessing because I'm not there. I hadn't thought about letting Kayla choose her clothes yet so she hasn't done that, but it sounds like she's having the same dressing distress. I may have to Google this after Bible study. :-)
I have only one boy who couldn't care less about what I put on him. I wonder if this is a "girl thing" as I remember being like this. All that to say, I am not qualified to give advice. :( I hope that you find a solution.
I think it is a girl thing. But, my advice - and here I feel Biblically confident - stop trying to reason or rationalize with a 2 1/2 year old! You're the adult - this is an instance, no matter how minor it seems to us, where she is showing her sinful nature and she needs to be shown that she must obey Mommy and Daddy immediatley and without complaining (with verbal or body language). In our society today all the little parenting magazines and websites seem geared to giving all of these creative little ways to MANIPULATE our children into doing what we want them to. I could go on, but this isn't the place :o) Sometimes we can "choose our battles" with our children, but sometimes they choose them for us - it's our job to teach them the truth.
I agree with Nicki that she may not be ready for choice, although it is good to introduce "choice" in unimportant areas as she grows to allow her to develop decision making skills in a safe way - and I think it's good that you give her options within bounds. BUT you have to put your foot down (believe me, I've been there!!) if she is giving you a hard time, you cannot be dictated by her choice. When she is an adult, life will NOT revolve around her, and yours can't either.
Sorry, hope this is helpful, and not "preachy" ;o) I'm right there with you!!
Thanks, everyone for the helpful comments!
Karis: Glad to know we're not the only one dealing with this! Let me know what works for you guys, ok? This morning I let Chloe stay in her pjs through breakfast and then when I got her dressed it wasn't as bad a meltdown as it has been on previous mornings.
Nicki: I disagree. I think she's old enough to choose. And it's not like I let her have total control - I still am the one in charge of what she wears. I think it's healthy for 2 yr. olds to have some ability to choose in controlled situations. Otherwise Chloe gets needlessly frustrated if she's got no say in anything. I don't want her to grow up thinking that her environment is so completely rigid and strict that she feels like she wants to escape from jail. And I want her to know that her opinion is important to me. Does that make sense?
Tricia: Must be a girl thing! Thanks for you input.
Mary Ann: Wow, that puts things in perspective for me! I suppose things could be much worse. Though it would be darling to see your little niece go through her wardrobe changes every day. :)
Rachel: Hope Michael is spared this phase! From what most ladies are saying, this is a girl phenomenon so you should be safe.
Sarah: Thanks for your advice cushioned in love! After I typed that in this post I thought, oh boy, people are going to think all I do is try to reason with Chloe and that I don't spank or use time-outs. I certainly don't want to manipulate Chloe into doing something (unless it's potty-training) but I also don't want to just spank her for every little thing either. I still feel that I'm firmly in charge of her dressing situation but I appreciate your emphasis on obeying immediately and without complaining. That complaining (crying for Chloe right now) is definitely the aspect we need to work on!
i have no advise... i never had that struggle with our kids. they were always excited with whatever clothes they would wear.
kalynn LOVED to dress up. sometimes at night i would find her in her bed all dressed up in a sunday outfit complete with a pair of tights! LOL! what a silly girl.
we got to talk to them tonight. that was a blessing.
Alicia, I am speaking only from the experiences we have had with Sara and advice we received in a parenting class that has worked well with her. . .It teaches them to be "wise in their own eyes" and taking "Choices" away, has helped her to realize she doesn't rule the roost. . .All that to say i completely agree with Sarah McDaniel on the disobedience thing, and that is what I am getting at with the "not ready to choose" No offense meant:)
Post a Comment