Exploding head

This week has been killer busy.  My online job is picking up.  I've been coordinating meals for a local family going through chemotherapy.  I've been planning Chloe's upcoming 6th birthday party.  I've been arranging travel details and purchased tickets for relatives.  Oh, and somehow EVERY DAY this week we had a commitment on the calendar.

My head is going to essplode!

It's no secret that I am not an organized list-making soul.  I have small piles of papers with jotted notes sitting on my desk to remind my fragmented brain of important tasks.  But dumping the information out of my brain onto small sheets of notepaper doesn't seem to be easing the mental overload.

My poor belabored brain keeps shouting out random unrelated thoughts.  "Don't forget to buy breadcrumbs at Drug Mart" or "Email so-and-so about her syllabus" or "Did I ever look up the instructions for making cake pops?" or "I wonder who's on the leaderboard at the PGA Championship?  I should google it" or "I really need to blog about Shaun Groves' new cd" or "I wonder what kind of butterfly that yellow woolly caterpillar we saw on our neighbor's porch will become after metamorphosis? I should look that up online with Chloe"

These non-essential thoughts keep bouncing around my cranium at 70 mph.  And by the time I settle on one thought and decide to take action, I'm completely distracted from my original task.  Fractured, fragmented and disorderly is my thinking of late.

Has my head exploded yet?

I'm praying I make it through the upcoming birthday festivities with my head still firmly intact.  And hopefully I won't be such a frazzled flake that I can complete sentences when speaking to other adults.

How do you keep your mind organized and whole during these busy days?  My brain needs HELP.  Desperately. 

I'm realizing too that I can't just keep blaming *mommy brain* every time I act flaky or forgetful.  While I do think becoming a mom helped me get to this frazzly point I am positive I can reclaim my pre-mom brain cells.

I know what I need to do.  I need to re-train my brain to focus.  By forcing myself to do SINGLE tasks, reading chapters of books instead of paragraphs in one sitting, and only allowing myself 1-3 tabs open on my computer browser instead of 7-8.  But I can't start right now.  Right now I need to go google yellow woolly caterpillars.

In need of an antidote for busyness!

Starting Wednesday, our family's life is going to get seriously busy.

Usually we have a maximum of 2-3 activities slated on the week's agenda.  But soon, we'll have commitments almost every single day for the next week and a half.

I'm getting edgy and nervous as to how this added busyness is going to shake out.  Besides affecting me adversely, I know it's also bound to make for crabby attitudes and increased meltdowns in the kids.

Thankfully, most of the activities on the calendar don't include ALL of the family.  A lot of it is falling squarely on me.  Sigh.

I REALLY don't want to transform into monster mommy/scary wife during these busy days.  I know it affects the ENTIRE household when mama is stressed out.

So, here's where I need your help.  How do you keep your spirit and attitude calm when life is going a zillion miles per hour?  I know God is key in the equation here.  I'm already drafting a plan to prioritize some quiet time for reading and praying each day. 

Any other practical tips for maintaining sanity during busy seasons?

Trying to be thankful

Yesterday was one of THOSE days. You know what I'm talking about.

Solomon was a crab all day long and didn't nap more than 45 minutes at a time. Which meant that by the time I settled down into an activity of some sort (reading to Chloe, working online, contemplating a nap) he was waking up again. And then he was a cranky pants!

I felt frustrated all day long. I know frustration is born from my refusing to let go of my own expectations but try as I might I could NOT shake it.

When the long day wore into evening I was spent. After yet another fussy period when I KNEW with all my mommy being that Solomon was exhausted, I stopped trying to multitask. I put on my flip-flops and took Solly for a long walk in the warm summer air.

Holding my curious baby boy and soaking in the quietness of the summer night I finally stopped regretting the day. I forced myself to stop looking at the "wasted" day and to think instead of the many tangible things I have to be thankful for.

I've been harping on Chloe lately about how fortunate she is. I explain and explain how privileged she is for being healthy, having a loving family, and living in America. But all I get is blank looks in response. I feel like I've reached official mom-status now because I totally get Ralph's mom in A Christmas Story when over a plate of unappetizing food she says, "Children in China would be happy to have that!"

I also get why she wears an apron all the time. I have used spray-n-wash on my clothes every day of my life since bearing progeny.

But I digress.

The clarity of the night and removal of distractions helped me focus on the big thankful things. And even though I didn't feel like it, I spoke truth to my lying emotional heart.

Truth is, I'm healthy. I have a husband who loves me, treats me well and makes me smile. My children may be fussy, annoying, needy, or dirty but they're mine. And they are alive without illness. Truth is, God loves me. The God of the universe. That's huge. I have friends. Good friends that I can be real with and laugh 'til I snort with.

When Solomon and I got back from our walk, he was still awake but no longer fussy. I laid him on the floor and just played with him. Our shared laughter was good therapy and a great reminder to me of the healing goodness of God. That despite my wanderings and self-imposed frustrations, God can wipe it all away in a moment. Through the simple joy of a baby's laugh.

This is the day the Lord has made, I WILL rejoice and be glad today. And tomorrow too with God's help!

What are you thanking God for today?

Remembering and not remembering 9.11

Truthfully, I completely forgot that yesterday was 9.11. I was so wrapped up in hanging with the kids and getting through the day that it didn't dawn on me until the evening. The announcer of the highschool football game across the street asked for a moment of silence from the crowd. And then my memories of that eerie day came flooding back.

I got a bit teary-eyed as the marching band belted out the star-spangled banner. The lines, "that our flag was still there" and "oh say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave" were especially meaningful to me as I reflected on the atrocities of 9.11.

And then today at a local airplane heritage fair just the sight of an army helicopter made me well up again as I pictured our fellow country-men battling overseas in response to the terror of 9.11.

Despite its warranted criticisms, I am very thankful I live in the USA. There's no place like it!

Enjoy one of my favorite versions of the national anthem via the video below.
(What can I say -- I love the tight harmonies of the Dixie Chicks!)

Thankful

My day yesterday was a busy and full one. In the midst of a lot of cooking, whiny bored kiddos, and continual nose-wiping, I found myself surprisingly thankful. Oh, I certainly had my own share of impatience in dealing with both Chloe and Clive. (Don't you love having to apologize to your kids for your own ugly anger and impatience? Blech.) But in the background of the day, God graciously gave me a thankful heart.

As Bing so thoughtfully sings,

When my bankroll is getting small, I think of when I had none at all. And I fall asleep, counting my blessings . . .

Here's my list of blessings from yesterday.

1. Health. The kids have colds but they're not suffering from any major illnesses. A friend of a friend of mine's daughter (did you follow all that?) is in the hospital for the 3rd time today as doctors try to solve her mysterious sickness. The poor little girl has been vomiting for two weeks straight!
2. Food. We're rediscovering the joys of eating simply. A big ole pot of rice and a big ole pot of pinto beans is surprisingly easy and healthful to boot! Cheap too. :)
3. Money. Have I mentioned lately how poor we are? :) I feel like that's all I talk about sometimes. But that's because I'm constantly floored by how we're making it on so little. God is faithfully taking care of us. My part-time online job has picked up lately bringing in more income and our taxes promise a summer-sustaining refund.
4. Matt. He's such a diligent worker! He just started writing the LAST chapter of his dissertation. Precisely he's in the reading phase which precedes the actual writing but we're still talking about the LAST chapter here! After a busy day of teaching freshman writing classes, he took over kid duty last night so I could rush out to run some errands last night. And then we snuggled up and watched some old Seinfeld dvds. What a treasure I have in Matt. (And he's not listed #4 because of importance. My random mommy brain thought of those other things first.)

What are you thankful for?