Clive is now 9 weeks old and showing no signs of sleeping through the night. Truthfully, that's my fault. I didn't do any reading or mental preparation before Clive was born to prepare me for these newborn days. I just figured, hey, I've been there done that. I'll know what to do when the time comes. Plus I was so stressed by the Babywise philosophy with Chloe that I vowed not to go down that same road with Clive.But now we have an unorganized overtired baby on our hands. I've found that I don't routinely put him down to nap in the same place and that I don't use the same soothing techniques each time. Yesterday we had a horrible day with Clive. He never took a good solid nap despite all our rocking, singing, and soothing efforts. I even resorted to driving him around to get him to fall asleep. That's something I've never done before but we were desperate! After a long day of only a few dozes and much fussy crying, he finally konked out at 11 p.m.
A girlfriend of mine had recommended the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child to me when I was pregnant. I smiled politely and thanked her for the advice never dreaming I'd need any help with baby #2. What was I thinking?!
After reading a few chapters last night I was shocked to read such an accurate description of our overtired Clive! Dr. Weissbluth stresses the importance of putting babies down to nap in a 1-2 hour window after waking up. He says (and I can attest to this through our experience with Clive) that once a baby passes through the "drowsy" window he becomes overtired. And an overtired baby is VERY difficult to put to sleep. In fact, rocking or soothing an overtired is actually counter-productive causing additional stimulation.
So, this week I'll be actively putting Dr. Weissbluth's suggestions into practice including:
- watching closely during the 1-2 hour window for Clive's drowsy signals
- soothing him consistently in the same manner before naptime
- putting him down in the same place for each nap (his bassinet upstairs away from the loud downstairs activity)
- letting him eat what he needs to rather than trying to force him to eat a certain amount at each feeding
- keeping a sleep log
- staying close to home so he can nap for longer chunks of time
"It comes as a surprise to many parents that healthy sleep habits do not develop automatically. In fact, parents can and do help or hinder the development of their child's healthy sleep habits."
"Sleep training means starting to respect your baby's need to sleep by anticipating when he will need to sleep (within one to two hours of wakefulness), learning to recognize drowsy signs, and developing a bedtime routine. Then your baby will not become overtired."
"Two hours of wakefulness is about the maximum that most babies can endure without becoming overtired. Try to soothe him to sleep before he becomes overtired - before he becomes crabby, irritable, pulls his hair, or bats his ears. . . . Expect your overtired child to protest when she is put down to sleep."
"Remember that your baby is fighting sleep for the pleasure of your company. . . . Always going to your child when he needs sleep robs him of sleep."
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Those are just a few of the common sense (and yet enlightening) thoughts of Dr. Weissbluth's that I'm totally latching on to as sleep strategies for Clive. I'll keep you posted on how things go! Today has been FANTASTIC so far.
What strategies do you (or did you) employ for your little ones?
8 comments:
I love this book! It was a great resource for us with Aaron, for sure. We still watch for his drowsy signs for naps instead of following the clock, although now it's usually pretty close to the same times each day. It made so much sense as a former teacher, too, to read the signs of sleep deprivation in older kids! Sleep is so important!!
Thanks for the reminder - I need to keep my eyes open for a used copy...
If it makes you feel any better, Krista isn't a sleeping champ yet either and she's 4 months now. I refuse to feel like I'm a bad mom because she isn't sleeping 10-12 hours straight at this point (and I try not to remember that Kayla was doing that at 4 months :-). Our flexed version of Babywise worked very well for Kayla with getting her sleeping and eating organized, but I knew I would be very frustrated this time around if I tried to do Babywise with Krista because our schedule is so inconsistent that hers has to be too. So, our method which isn't a method at all is "do our best with the schedule we have that day and where we are that day." Both are factors in napping and sleeping through the night for her, and I so agree with you that when Krista gets overtired, it's harder for her to fall asleep and then she ends up not sleeping as long either.
Hope this plan works well for you! I so understand what it's like to be so tired and not know when it's going to end.
Oh and my mom says that maybe the second one doesn't sleep as well because that 4:00 early morning feeding (or whenever it is) is when they get mom all to themselves. Who knows? Certainly not me.
thanks for that recommendation. i'll keep that in mind. babywise like karis said was adjusted for esther. but it did take a while to dawn on me that she needed the SAME thing every time to take a decent nap. i can remember her crying through the whole 'nap' time. a lot of good that did. she really wasn't in a consistent schedule at least til 5 months. i felt like every day at nap time it was flip a coin whether she would go down or not. :) but once she got it she was easy. this next time around with our schedules, and two kiddos, it will be important to establish a routine as soon as he's able!
HI! This is Laura (Cross) Delich, married to Nathan Delich. We were at Northland at the same time as you. I have been following your blog as our pregnancies this time around were together. We had another beautiful girl on Dec. 31st, just two months ago. I appreciate so much the care and creativity I see displayed in your family life.
In regard to your blog post, we have been blessed with three very good sleeper babies. They all have learned to sleep through the night by 6 weeks of age. And the book that you referenced (though I have never read it) was right on target with what works for our family. We have a certain place for naps (a portable swing) and we have a certain bedtime routine (all of our children have loved being swaddled to bed). And Nathan seems to do a much better job of putting our little lambs to sleep (I am convinced that Mommy's smell is too stimulating for their sweet little noses!). He usually holds our little one in the evening, and she just buries her nose into him and drifts right off to sleep. She has been sleeping through the night (meaning 8 hours at the least) since 6 weeks. (Disclaimer: she is our largest baby at birth and she has never gone fewer than 3 1/2 hours between feedings--she has been our little sleepy-head since day one) I know that this all sounds maddening to those who don't have little ones sleeping through the night yet. Be assured that we have also had those overtired battles--nearly impossible for me to get her to calm down by holding her. We have had to just let her "cry it out"--and, yes, it breaks my heart every time, but she learns after 5 minutes or so (of torture for her Mommy) to calm down and pacify herself. Our methods also include "staying close to home" (very easy with only one vehicle) and "training." And here is where I always put in a plug for "To Train Up A Child" by Michael and Debi Pearl (www.nogreaterjoy.org). We have used their methods of training with all our children and have enjoyed great success and happy children. I could "talk" for much longer on this subject, but I will close as my little one is needing my help. Please feel free to email my about this if you want more information or advice: delichmail@cccinternet.net
Laura Delich
i have not read this book, but i will say that i learned this at 3 months with jackson and out it into quick practice with owen. it's amazing that even though they are soo little, they do tell us when they are tired - and sometimes - i tell owen when he's tired. :) It's been a good lesson from jackson to put owen down while he is still awake (and cute and i want to play with him) and let him fuss a little to sleep. He falls to sleep almost immediately - and if he doesn't, he works it out until he falls asleep.
Isn't it funny? we think we have it all figured out and then we have another baby and start over again! :)
here's to some "sleep-filled" nights! :)
I have been reading and reading lately. Only 12 wks and 6 days to go. Now i guess i've got a new book to add to the list. I sure hope the things mentioned in the book help you out with you little guy and that things get better in the sleep department for you.
Alicia, I don't know if you'll remember me. I was in Slessor my freshman year when you were the President. I happened upon your blog through Carrie Bennett's blog (she's my old roomie). I also had Mr Horn for quite a few classes. I have loved reading your blog and it's brought me to tears numerous times. I just watched the sad seen from Dumbo last week and cried for like an hour! I also had an unplanned Csection with Madeline and want to try a VBAC should we choose to have more. I ALSO love HSHHC by Weissbluth. It's my parenting Bible!
My daughter's site is www.afunguslife.blogspot.com
i'm sure i will need to re-read this post when johnson #6 arrives. i have been so blessed with amos being a good sleeper. i still hold him during the entire church service and he just snuggles... (happy to have mommy all to him self i am sure.) the Lord knew i needed a good sleeper in amos with all that is going on. i actually think amos is a little "shy" and closes down when there is a lot of commotion. - i take no credit for his good behavior, and i know it is a gift from the Lord. - we are all pretty sick with colds and the Lord gave amos over 8 strait hours of sleep last night. God really won't give us more than we can handle.
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