Solomon was a crab all day long and didn't nap more than 45 minutes at a time. Which meant that by the time I settled down into an activity of some sort (reading to Chloe, working online, contemplating a nap) he was waking up again. And then he was a cranky pants!
I felt frustrated all day long. I know frustration is born from my refusing to let go of my own expectations but try as I might I could NOT shake it.
When the long day wore into evening I was spent. After yet another fussy period when I KNEW with all my mommy being that Solomon was exhausted, I stopped trying to multitask. I put on my flip-flops and took Solly for a long walk in the warm summer air.
Holding my curious baby boy and soaking in the quietness of the summer night I finally stopped regretting the day. I forced myself to stop looking at the "wasted" day and to think instead of the many tangible things I have to be thankful for.
I've been harping on Chloe lately about how fortunate she is. I explain and explain how privileged she is for being healthy, having a loving family, and living in America. But all I get is blank looks in response. I feel like I've reached official mom-status now because I totally get Ralph's mom in A Christmas Story when over a plate of unappetizing food she says, "Children in China would be happy to have that!"
I also get why she wears an apron all the time. I have used spray-n-wash on my clothes every day of my life since bearing progeny.
But I digress.
The clarity of the night and removal of distractions helped me focus on the big thankful things. And even though I didn't feel like it, I spoke truth to my lying emotional heart.
Truth is, I'm healthy. I have a husband who loves me, treats me well and makes me smile. My children may be fussy, annoying, needy, or dirty but they're mine. And they are alive without illness. Truth is, God loves me. The God of the universe. That's huge. I have friends. Good friends that I can be real with and laugh 'til I snort with.
When Solomon and I got back from our walk, he was still awake but no longer fussy. I laid him on the floor and just played with him. Our shared laughter was good therapy and a great reminder to me of the healing goodness of God. That despite my wanderings and self-imposed frustrations, God can wipe it all away in a moment. Through the simple joy of a baby's laugh.
This is the day the Lord has made, I WILL rejoice and be glad today. And tomorrow too with God's help!
What are you thanking God for today?
2 comments:
Thanks for sharing. I had a similar moment like that today and just needed to stop and ponder the goodness of God and the preciousness of my children. The Lord is so kind to stop me in my sinful ways.
What a great reminder! The Lord has taken such good care of us. There are always many things to be thankful for.
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