Today Clive and I spent a record 90 minutes battling over a spoonful of three macaroni noodles.I came out victorious but not without many tears (from both of us), spankings and wavering in my stamina.
Poor little stubborn guy. He didn't know who he was up against. :)
As soon as the words were out of my mouth, "One more spoonful and you can be done" I knew I had to back up my charge. Clive obviously did NOT like the homemade mac-n-cheese I fixed for lunch (I think homemade mac-n-cheese is world's better than the boxed variety but my kids beg to differ). Lest you think I starve my children, Clive devoured his pumpkin muffin and oranges. He happily salted and peppered the mac-n-cheese noodles but then refused to open his mouth for a spoonful.
By this time, Chloe had finished her lunch and asked for seconds. She quickly finished, cleared her dishes and was off to play. She was an ANGEL during the 90 minute showdown! She even tried convincing Clive to eat his spoonful and tried reading him a book to calm him down. To reward her for her helpfulness I read 5 books to her before quiet time (that's a record) and I plan on treating her to a special bowl of ice cream after supper tonight.
In reflecting on the ordeal, it was interesting to see my emotional progression. I'm a pretty stubborn gal at heart so once I decided I needed to stand my ground, I was in it for the long haul. I started out with optimistic determinism, then proceeded to frustration, anger, empathy, total desperation and humility (during which time I cried to God for help), and finally exhausted determinism.
Though I know I did the right thing in making my words weighty and displaying my follow-through with Clive, I did not enjoy the process. My heart broke for Clive when again and again I asked him if he was ready to eat his noodles and he whimpered, "No". And when he cryingly said, "Hold you! Hold you!" I balled right along with him as we hugged.
Man, am I glad that's over! After we all crashed for long naps this afternoon, I plan to take the kiddos outside for some fall raking and jumping fun. I'm tired of being the mean mommy.
Have you had a similar battling experience with your kiddos?
10 comments:
Good job!!! I always think it's funny how when one kid is being umm... not so nice, the other shines in perfection! My kids are like that, my nephews are like that. Funny how we learn those things!
My night was exactly the same! Although, Eli hasn't been a good eater for a looong time, and it's really starting to wear on me more and more. Tonight was not good, and he dumped his plate on the floor, and then he was upset that the dogs ate his food. Then we gave him more food, and he didn't want anything to do with that. It was such a frustrating night for both of us - both of us shed tears. Then he apologized. I just would like for him to eat ONE bite, let alone 3!! Good for you for standing your ground - it hurts sometimes, a lot of times! But it's definitely worth it!
It is so hard some days to stand our ground. I sometimes want to give in and just let Logan get up from the table...but I know that I am not teaching him anything from it.
I have cried with my kids too while standing my ground...I think it is painful for both the kids and us as parents!! :)
I hope tomorrow is better for you!
Oh my, yes. Many, many times.
I admire you. And you've encouraged to me to be stronger. I am a very stubborn person as well. It's just sooooooo easy to give in, but I don't want to be the push-over parent. Way to go!
Dianna: I hadn't thought of it that way -- God is so good to have only given me one difficult child to work on at a time!
Abby: So sorry to hear about your food issues with Eli! At least he's apologizing though -- that's a great pattern for life!
Heather: Glad to hear I'm not the only mom who empathizes and cries with her disobedient kiddo. I felt like such a softie but my heart just broke when I saw Clive continually choosing the wrong choice.
Kelly: I don't think you would have admired me when I was in the angry impatient zone today! What's sad is that it took me sooooooo long to finally humble myself and ask God for help. I hear ya on the push-over parent thing. I've seen WAY too many moms at parks who talk to their kids and the kids just completely ignore them. How very sad!
Way to go, Alicia! One of the ladies at my church whom I really admire has this one little bit of parenting advice, "Win. And win decisively." Way to stick in there for the win - his character in the long run is very much worth it!
Oh, yes! I have had battles like that with both of my girls. And I have gone through the same cycle of emotions too. I honestly cannot believe how stubborn young children can be. It would be so much easier to let them win, but as others have mentioned, it would be so harmful to them in the long run.
And I too find something "nice" mommy in me to do with the kids after a difficult scenario like that. And isn't it so wonderful after it's all over and all is forgiven and love is shown.
You'd better believe it, sister. Glad you prayed through it!
Yes- we've been there with our little 'angel' Jonas too recently seems like at least once a week..as if he forgot what the previous instance was. We are so shocked with his easy-going spirit to then be stuborn and defy us. It is so hard to stand ground and not let them win, but I figure these are the little battles we have to win now, so that authority is established later with bigger things. Man, parenting isn't for the faint-hearted! I am ever aware of my need for God's grace!
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